


(You're) Everything I Never Wanted

by Feminism_and_Feelings



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Human, Carmilla is an ass and Laura is oblivious, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Montreal, POV Alternating, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:37:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feminism_and_Feelings/pseuds/Feminism_and_Feelings
Summary: Laura Hollis's life is exactly as she pictured wanting it, and she doesn't like it nearly as much as she thought she would.  Cue entrance of one Carmilla Karnstein, angst-fest of a human being.(Also I know the title is crap, please bear with me anyways)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first real fanfic I've written in aaages, but I love the Carmilla/Laura all-human AU genre, and this idea just came up and bit me.

If you’d asked Laura Hollis a year ago where she wanted to be now, ten months after graduation, she would’ve described, well, this.Still in Montréal, working a job that she cared about and which paid the bills, surrounded by a circle of friends and, best of all, dating the one and only Danny Lawrence.Danny, whom Laura had harboured a positively massive crush on since Perry had introduced them in Laura’s second year.Danny Lawrence.Sweet, kind, passionate and good. 

Laura sighed, watching sleety rain blur the view out the windows as the 80 crawled its way down Park through rush hour traffic.She and Danny had fought that morning, again.She replayed the scene in her head . . .

_It had been the usual routine Monday morning staff meeting.  Various people reported on various projects, Laura took notes and tried to stay engaged.  As the bottom rung (well, tied with LaF) she usually didn’t have progressed to report, and so minutes always fell to her.  She had tuned out to the point where her fingers recorded what was being said, but it only halfway registered in her brain, when LaF’s voice broke through her fog.  “It’s about the community service projects”_

_ “Go on,” their boss encouraged.  Laura’s heart sank.  She was pretty sure she knew what this would be about, and even though she agreed, she really wasn’t looking forward to the discussion. _

_ “Well, Laura and I have been supervising them together.But there are only two people signed up for the Monday-Wednesday-Friday session, and three for the Tuesday-Thursday.So Laura and I were thinking that it would make sense for her to take one, and me to take the other.That would give her more time to work on the community gardening and vermicomposting resources, and me more time to get our IT switched over.”  _

_ “Laura?” Their boss turned her eye to Laura.Laura was still a little intimidated by the woman.She oversaw all the SVM offices, and so they didn’t see her all that often.  _

_ She swallowed.“I agree with LaFontaine.It would be a better use of staff.” _

_ “Well, if everyone’s in agreement, it’s settled.Hollis, you’ll take Monday-Wednesday-Friday, and LaFontaine, you will supervise the Tuesday-Thursday group.Meeting adjourned!” _

_ Laura had used the ensuing flurry of activity to duck out of the conference room and back to her desk as fast as possible, but it wasn’t long before Danny cornered her at the coffee and tea area that passed for a break room in their office.“Laura,” she started “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” _

_ “What?” Laura had asked, feigning indifference.  _

_ “The community service projects.  Supervising alone.”  _

_ “Danny, it makes sense. Two staff for two or even three volunteers isn’t a good use of resources.”Laura was trying to stay calm, but she could already feel her hackles rising.  _

_ “I just don’t think it’s safe,” Danny stated. _

_ “Danny.  We’re in a public place.  None of them are violent offenders.  It’s all just stupid stuff, like vandalism and shoplifting.  We always have our phones on us.  I know Krav Maga, for Dumbledore’s sake.  And Josée already approved the switch.” _

_ “Yeah, but she’d switch back if you told her you didn’t feel safe.” _

_ “But I  _ do _.” _

_ “Laura,” Danny’s eyes were pleading. “I just don’t feel comfortable with you being out there all alone.” _

_“Good thing you’re not the one doing it, then!” she had snapped, walking away._  

 

Laura’s eyes stung just thinking about it.She _hated_ fighting with Danny.She knew Danny just cared about her.But the care and protectiveness that had been so nice when they were just friends and flirting was quickly starting to feel suffocating.

 

* * *

 

“What about this one?” Mattie picked up a leaflet from the pile in front of them, holding it out to Carmilla, who sighed, glancing through it with an expression of extreme distaste.She looked at her friend, raising a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Trash pick-up, Mattie? _Really?”_

“Kitten,” Mattie sighed.  “You’re not going to like any of them.  But this one at least you get to be outdoors, and it looks like you won’t have to deal with people much, and it’s often enough that you’ll be done in just over a month.”

Carmilla groaned and slumped forward dramatically.  “Fine.  The godforsaken Green Team it is then.”

Six months ago, Carmilla Karnstein’s life had seemed perfect.She was free, doing work she enjoyed, and best of all, gloriously in love.What the hell had happened?

Mattie seemed to be able to read her friend’s thoughts, as she started rubbing slow circles on Carmilla’s back, and nudged her cheek with her other hand, forcing the younger woman to look at her.“You’re going to be okay, kitten.”

Carmilla just looked at her.

“You’re going to be okay, kitten.” Mattie repeated.“I promise.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura and Carmilla meet. How well it goes depends on whom you ask. . .

I sighed, and glanced once more at the clock on the wall of our shabby little lobby.Despite what I’d said to Danny, supervising community service projects was probably my least favourite part of this job, and I anticipated it being even less fun without LaF.There was always a lot of attitude, and nobody wanted to be there.Wasn’t my picture of a good working environment.Both new participants were making it abundantly clear they didn’t want to be here before they’d even shown up, by being conspicuously absent, although we were supposed to start eight minutes ago.I sighed again.I wished my mood was only due to the prospect of the next four hours, but my disagreement with Danny (She’d made yet another attempt to convince me to take LaF with me today) was also putting me on edge.Just then, the door was opened (with a fair bit more force that strictly necessary), and a girl sauntered in. 

Correction - a slightly scary-looking, _incredibly hot_ girl sauntered in.I’m on season two of a _Gilmore Girls_ rewatch, and I swear, if the best fan artists in the world were trying to make a gender-swap of Jess Mariano, they couldn’t have done better than this girl.She was wearing combat boots and tight black jeans, slashed open across the thighs in a few places.Over her charcoal grey t-shirt was a black leather motorcycle jacket, heavy on the hardware.Her curly black hair was disheveled in the most intentional way possible, and her black eyeliner had been applied with a heavy but expert hand.Did I mention she was _gorgeous?_

She was also _late_ , and looked like she’d borrowed her attitude from an entire classroom’s worth of rebellious teenagers.  LaF and I exchanged an amused look before I stood up, ready to get the introduction over with.  “You’re here for the park clean-up project?” I asked. 

“No, cupcake, I’m just here because I have an insatiable passion for. . .” she picked up a leaflet from the table beside her, which currently held a display on home vermicomposting.“worms.Of course I’m here for the godforsaken park clean-up.Can we get this the hell over with already?”

That pissed me off.  Who the hell did this girl think she was? “We could have got started ten minutes ago if-“ Danny emerging from her office cut me off mid-dress-down.  


“Everything okay here?”

“Yup!  Just getting our newest volunteer oriented.”  I flashed her what I hoped was a confident smile.

At that, Danny looked the girl over slowly - I could tell she liked her even less than I did.  I was halfway worried she was going to start with her whole ‘it’s not safe!’ crap again, but thankfully she looked at her watch.  “Well, I’ve got to get to yet another meeting to beg more funding” She shot me a questioning look, which I tried to counter with my most confident smile.  She smiled a lot less confidently, then turned to LaF, halfway out the door already.  “LaFontaine, call our other volunteer, find out where they’ve got to - it’s already quarter past.”

“Actually-“ LaF started, but Danny had already walked out of the office.The door closed with a snap, and I turned to LaF. 

“Actually what?”

“The other volunteer dropped out yesterday - sorry, forgot to tell you - so it’s just Miss Karnstein here.” They tossed me a sympathetic smile.

* * *

 

When she had woken up enough to remember what the day had in store for her, Carmilla groaned and buried her head in the pillow again.This had to be the _definition_ of ‘to add insult to injury.’Without raising her head from her pillow, she groped until she knocked her phone off the bedside table, then pulled it onto the mattress via the charging cord.With her thumb, she activated the voice-control interface.“What time is it?” she mumbled, followed quickly by “shit!” as she realized that if she didn’t get out of bed immediately, she was going to be late for this crap-sack of a day. 

“Sorry, I don’t know what that means,” The computerized voice responded.“Would you like me to search the web for ‘shit’?”Even the humour of that broke through her black mood and she startled herself by laughing aloud. 

After having thrown on clothes and bolted down breakfast, Carmilla hurried out the door, checking the time as she dashed down the stairs.“Fuck” she swore again.She’d have to break at least two traffic laws to get there on time at this rate. 

Normally, the ride would’ve restored her to some measure of calm, but how late she was, combined with the unholy traffic on Park that morning ruined any chance of that.“Did this place really have to be all the hell way out in Outremont?” she mumbled angrily “couldn’t have been fucking downtown because that would’ve made way too much fucking sense.”Finally, she pulled up in front of the building that housed Strategie Vert de Montréal’s offices.Mercifully, there was an open spot right out front.She cut the engine and stowed her helmet, then looked up at the nondescript greystone building, taking a deep breath. _Well, here goes misery and humiliation_ , she thought darkly. 

Predictably, the office was on the fifth floor and the evaluator was broken, so she was very late, sweaty, and annoyed when she pushed open the door and found herself in the office, in all it’s low-budget-public-service-staffed-entirely-by-recent-grads glory, made even less palatable to her by the hefty dose of crunchy-granola vibes.There were two people in the room; an androgynous redhead with cropped hair sat behind a reception desk, typing something into a computer, and a very small brunette was sitting on a plastic chair in the corner.The latter was wearing a reflective orange vest and carrying two matching ones, as well as trash bags, work gloves, and garbage-picking spikes.She looked, surprisingly, only a few shades less annoyed than Carmilla felt.She stood up and spoke, directing her words to Carmilla.“You’re here for the park clean-up project?”

There was something about the girl, as well as about Carmilla’s current mood, that made giving a straight answer impossible.Instead of replying right away, she picked up a brochure at random from the table beside her, glancing at the cover.“No, cupcake, I’m just here because I have an insatiable passion for . . . worms.” she drawled, looking back at the girl.“Of course I’m here for the godforsaken park clean-up.Can we get this the hell over with already?”

At that, the tiny girl bristled visibly, raising herself to her full, if unimpressive, height.Carmilla grinned to herself.If nothing else, it looked like pipsqueak would be damn fun to tease.“We _could_ have got started ten minutes ago if-“ she started in a tone Carmilla assumed was supposed to be scathing, until she was cut off by a truly gigantic redhead emerging from one of the side offices. 

“Everything okay here?” The ginger giant asked, looking between Carmilla and the furious pipsqueak. 

“Yup!Just getting our newest volunteer oriented.”The girl threw a glare at Carmilla, who just grinned back at her. _This might be downright fun._

The tall ginger turned back to Carmilla, giving her a slow appraisal.Clearly she didn’t love what she saw, and there was something of a warning in the look she gave her before turning toward the door. “Well, I’ve got to get to yet another meeting to beg more funding” She announced to the room at large, before looking once more to the girl with the reflective vests.She then turned to leave the office, calling over her shoulder to the person at the desk as she went.“LaFontaine, call our other volunteer, find out where they’ve got to - it’s already quarter past.”

The door swung shut as the person at the desk - LaFontaine - started to respond, then stopped when they realized Xena wouldn’t actually hear the response. 

The other girl whipped her head around to face LaFontaine. “Actually what?” 

“The other volunteer dropped out yesterday,” LaFontaine started, looking slowly between Carmilla and the other girl.  “- sorry, forgot to tell you - so it’s just Miss Karnstein here.”

Carmilla took a step towards tiny angry girl, who looked less than thrilled at this news.  “Well, creampuff, looks like it’s just you and me.”

The small girl started, then bristled again.“My name.” she snapped, looking Carmilla dead in the eye,“is Laura.Not Cupcake, not Creampuff, Laura.Got it?” She glared at Carmilla. 

Carmilla shrugged.“Whatever you say, cutie.”This was _fun._

Laura flushed, but otherwise decidedly ignored that one.Instead, she starting thrusting objects at a surprised Carmilla, barking explanations.“Work gloves.Trash bag. Recycling Bag.Spike.Vest.” 

Carmilla took everything but the vest, leaving that dangling from Laura’s hand.  “Cupcake, if you think there’s any way in hell I’m wearing that, you’ve got another think coming.”

“If you want your hours, you wear the vest.Period.”Laura shot back. 

“Fine!”Carmilla grabbed the vest from her, annoyed again.At that point, she registered a strange noise, and turned to the other side of the room, to find LaFontaine watching them and unsuccessfully trying not to burst out laughing.“Can we go already?”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Laura muttered, stalking past Carmilla. 

“Sorry cupcake, didn’t catch that.”

“I said that’s rich, considering you waltzed in here ten minutes late!”

“Oh, it wasn’t ten minutes.”

“It was eleven, actually.” She snapped back.By this time, they’d reached the ground floor of the building.“Okay,” the tiny brunette rounded once again on her.“New volunteer orientation. Today we’re-“

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.“New volunteer orientation.Really? How hard can it be? Stab trash” Carmilla demonstrated with the stick- “throw out trash.” she mimed again.“Lather, rinse, repeat.Did I cover just about everything?”

Carmilla could actually _see_ Laura’s blood pressure spike.It was satisfying, in a petty way.“Just shut up and listen, okay?”

Carmilla put on her most saccharine smile and motioned for Laura to go on. “Proceed, cupcake.”

“Today, we’re going to the park around the corner.I’ll give you the schedule for the rest of the month at the end of today, and you’ll meet me there from now on.When we’re there, you will pick up litter within the designated area.You will keep garbage and recycling separate.We start at 9 and go until 1.Fifteen minute break at 11.Quota is two full bags at the end, unless I say otherwise.You don’t make quota, you don’t get your hours.Also, if you’re more than fifteen minutes late, I leave and you don’t get your hours.You wear the vest or you don’t get your hours.”This was all delivered rapid-fire, with a look that dared Carmilla to mess with her again.  Carmilla was never one to turn down a dare. 

“Anything else, cutie?” She drawled when Laura took a break for air. 

“Yes.You will call me Laura, and only Laura.Not cupcake, not creampuff, not cutie, not any other patronizing, demeaning nickname you can think of.Got it?”

“Or?”

“Or?” Laura blinked, startled.

“Or I don’t get my hours?” Carmilla suggested with half a smile. 

Laura made a succession of spluttery, indistinct noises, before settling on glaring at Carmilla. 

Carmilla smirked.“That’s what I thought, Cutie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the first real chapter. Thanks to everyone who's left kudos so far - it's lovely to know you're enjoying at. If you liked this, I'd love it if you let me know - it'll encourage me to post faster ;)  
> Also, I hope the POV switch and inconsistency doesn't make this strange to read - first person just felt right for Laura but not for Carmilla. Also, I really like exploring the same interaction from two points of view, hence the time jumps.
> 
> Finally, notes on realism (or lack thereof):  
> -I have no idea how court-mandated community service works, and frankly didn't feel like researching it because this is just for fun, so I just made up something that seemed plausible.   
> -Most named places in this fic will be real (otherwise what's the point in setting something somewhere you know?) but Strategie Vert de Montréal (SVM) is something I made up. In reality, environmental programs in Montreal aren't citywide, they're run by the boroughs, but for the sake of this story I wanted a city-wide program. I borrowed the name from the City of Westmount's (which is technically its own municipality but for all intents and purposes is a borough on Montreal) program, but the descriptions of the offices are based on Éco-Quartier de le Sud-Ouest.   
> (And that was probably way more than you wanted to know about environmental organizations in Mtl, but there you go!)


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Thursday on the West Coast! (where I do not live. . . in my defence I was going to post this on the bus on my way home for the long weekend but then the promised wifi was not delivered *grumpyface*)  
> Thanks to everyone who has read and kudos'ed and commented so far! It makes me happy that folks are enjoying so far!  
> cw alcohol mention

“Okay Laura,” Perry sat down beside me on the sofa, putting a steaming mug of hot chocolate into my hands.“Tell me what’s wrong.”

I couldn’t help but smile.Thank God for Perry.In some ways, she still acted like she was my floor fellow, even though we’d lived together for two years now and were both done undergrad.Today, I couldn’t help but be grateful for it.I turned to face her.“Perry, I’ve wanted to be dating Danny practically _forever._ ” 

Perry nodded.“But?”

“But now that we’re together, all we do is fight.I don’t know what to do, Perry.”

“Hmm.”

“But I mean, she’s amazing.And she really cares about me.And I really care about her.Maybe I just need to put more work into it.Right?”

Perry made a sympathetic, noncommittal noise.I kind of hated when she did that.  “Perry?Advice please?”

Perry sighed, looking at me.  “I can’t tell you what to do, Laura.  I think you’re thinking about it hard though, which is important.” She patted my shoulder, then got up to put our mugs in the dishwasher. 

I sighed.Sometimes, Perry told me exactly what she thought I should do about a problem.Other times, she let me make my own bad decisions, ‘so I could learn from them’.I had the sinking feeling that this was one of those times.The mature part of me knew that it was good for me.The immature part of me just really wanted someone to tell me what to do.

* * *

 

“It was okay.”

“Reeeally?”  Mattie raised her eyebrows at Carmilla over her wine glass. 

“What?” Carmilla asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew what her friend was getting at.

“Coming from you, that’s glowing praise.Tell me, what made it so okay?” Mattie was wearing an infuriating grin. 

“Nothing.” Carmilla snapped, annoyed less at the implications behind Mattie’s that the awareness that she wasn’t actually that far off-base.  Damned if she would _ever_ admit that, though.  “Just could’ve sucked a lot worse.” _please change the subject._

Mattie, of course, ignored Carmilla’s desire to leave the current topic far, far behind.She always did, but then again, she would’ve been a worse friend if she hadn’t. “So she’s that cute, huh?”

“Shut the hell up.” Carmilla glared at her friend, downing her glass in one go. 

Mattie fixed Carmilla with a suddenly-serious gaze.“Just be careful, okay kitten?Don’t get your heart broken again.”

Carmilla poured herself another glass of wine and didn’t justify that with a response. 

 

* * *

The next morning, I walked in to find Danny waiting leaning against my desk.  I braced myself for another conflict, until I registered the look on her face.  “I brought a peace offering,” she announced, gesturing to my desk, where a brown paper bag sat beside a takeaway coffee cup.  I picked up the paper bag excitedly and opened it, inhaling deeply.  

“Bagels!And they’re still warm!” I exclaimed, despite myself.My excitement was quickly overtaken by guilt, though.Hadn’t I contributed to the fight as much as Danny had?I felt like a terrible girlfriend.I turned to her, my turn to look mollified.“Danny, _thank you._ You know you didn’t have to do thisthough, right?I’m sorry, I think I overreacted yesterday.”

“It’s okay Laura, I wanted to.  She pushed off the desk to walk over to me, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. I had a good talk with LaF after you left yesterday.I know I go a little bit overboard sometimes.I just can’t help but worry about you, you know?”

“I know.”I said.“I just . . . I need to feel like you know I can take care of myself, okay?”

“Okay,” She nodded, then kissed me quickly before turning to go into her office.“well, got to get to work. But maybe we can do dinner tonight?”

“Sure,” I smiled.“Sounds great, Danny.” As the door to her office closed, though, I couldn't help but realize that she hadn’t actually said that she knew I could take care of myself. 

I sat down at my desk and took a sip of the coffee she’d brought me.Salted caramel latte.Not my favourite, but who am I to turn down caffeine and sugar in the morning?Besides, it was _really_ sweet of her.  

* * *

Carmilla was in a better mood on Wednesday morning than she had been in quite a few mornings.  Not _happy_ , not by a long stretch, but she only swore at an inanimate object once between when her alarm went off and when she left her apartment, which was practically a miracle. 

She met Laura on Mont Royal that morning, near Beaver Lake.At least, thanks to the reflective vest, the little hall monitor was easy to find.“Morning cupcake.”

“Morning,” Laura snapped, then once again started thrusting objects at Carmilla.“Vest.Trash bag. Wor-“

“Work gloves, spike, I know.We went over this last time, cutie.I’m a quick learner.”Carmilla flashed a smile. 

“Then get started already!” 

“Geez, who peed in your coffee this morning?” 

Laura didn’t respond to that, just stalked off to find some trash to stab. They spent the rest of the morning in terse, semi-hostile silence, and it irked Carmilla that that bothered her.  It didn’t bother her a _lot_ , but it was the principle of the thing, really. Friday started much the same way, and when it rounded on eleven Carmilla had finally had enough.

* * *

By Friday morning, I was ready to punch someone.  Even though she was on her best behaviour, I could tell Danny was still super uncomfortable with me supervising the community service alone, which I was more bothered by than I probably had the right to be.  I mean, she was trying, right?

The thing was, she clearly had no problem with LaF going on their own.Why did everyone have to treat me like a helpless child?? The reality of the community service wasn’t helping either.The Karnstein girl (I realized I didn’t even know her first name) was a grade-A asshole.She acted like she was queen of the world and doing everyone else a favour by just existing, and she treated me like a freaking child (are we sensing a theme here?Anyone?).Those nicknames!They drove me nuts, but I tried not to let on because clearly that only encouraged her.And of course, on top of being an asshole she had to be a gorgeous asshole. That really didn't help matters. 

Whatever, I told myself as the bus neared my stop. At least she actually did the work. And I didn't have to put up with her for that long.  The first part of the morning went much the same as the other two had. She mad some smartass comments which I mostly ignored, then we both worked until 11. When we went to take our break though, she broke script. 

"Okay, Laura." That got my attention.I was almost certain she had never used my actual name before then.  

“Yes?”

“Can we. . .” Even though she'd taken an unaffected posture, I realized then how different she looked than she normally did when she was speaking - like she might actually be invested in what the response would be. “. . .call a truce?” she finally finished.

That, again, took me off guard. “A truce?”

“I just thought,” she stated with indifference that I was pretty sure was feigned.“That the next three weeks might be slightly less terrible if we actually spoke to each other.”

I grinned.It was exhilarating, actually having the power in this dynamic for the first time all week.“Are you asking me to be friends with you?” I clarified, not bothering to hide my incredulity

I was pretty sure I actually saw her _wince_ , but she covered quickly, sliding her expression back to her standard - cooly bored. “Now, don’t go crazy, cupcake.I’d be quite fine with 'not openly hostile'.”

I laughed at that, then quickly got an idea.“Okay, deal.On one condition.”

She raised her eyebrow.“And what condition is that?”

“No more nicknames.You call me Laura and only Laura, or the deal’s off.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“Fine,” she scowled, but I almost thought I saw a smile hiding behind it.“ _Laura._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this once didn't seem too sparse. I felt like there needed to be a bridge between the first chapter and what happens next week. So please bear with me, I promise it'll get more exciting soon!
> 
> Have a lovely weekend, folks!


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeelll I am clearly failing at my regular-updates plan, sorry team! Easter happened, and health problems happened, and work happened (three jobs is too many jobs). But, finally I am done this chapter! To reward you for the wait, it is almost as long as the entire story so far. I realize I've been a little focussed on getting down key action moments and the rest is a bit bare-bones, so I tried to flesh stuff out a bit more this chapter.  
> Also, I'm terrible at responding to comments, but I'm going to work on being better, and thank you so much to everyone who has commented and left kudos. It's lovely to know people are enjoying this l'il story!

“What’s your name?”

“What?”

“I only know your last name.If we’re going to be friends-ly” Laura quickly corrected herself, seeing Carmilla’s glare, “it might be better if I knew your name. 

“It’s Carmilla.” Carmilla was not sure if she should regret the deal she’d just made.It was less fun than expected, now that cupcake thought she had the power. 

They worked for several more minutes in silence, until Laura piped up again.“So, I usually never ask this since it’s way rude, but given how you’ve been behaving-“

“I’ve stopped calling you creampuff, haven't I?”

“Only because you wanted something.” Laura shot back, and then smirked, satisfied, when Carmilla didn’t have a comeback.It was infuriating. 

“Anyways, Laura continued.“I wouldn’t usually ask, but you’ve been an asshole so I’m going to be an asshole right back.Plus, I’m curious.What did you do to get saddled with community service?”

Carmilla barely had to think for half a second before she responded.“Punched a dude in a bar fight.” To her intense disappointment, instead of the horror/shock/respect Carmilla had anticipated, Laura’s face broke into a smug grin.“Why the hell are you smiling?”

“Because,” Laura began, her grin growing wider.“I know you’re lying.Which means you _totally_ did something _super embarrassing_ to get arrested.”

_Shit_.Carmilla floundered for a second, but was immensely grateful for her ability to keep that off her face.Thankfully, a comeback didn’t take long.“Just trying to protect your delicate sensibilities, Hollis.”

“By telling me that you _punch-_ wait.” Laura cut herself off mid-sentence “How do you know my last name?I definitely haven’t mentioned it.”

Carmilla snorted.“Don’t be flattered.It’s on your sleeve, Einstein.”

Laura sputtered, then looked down, chagrined, to realize she was indeed wearing an old sweatshirt from some kind of sports team that had her number on the back and yes, her last name on her sleeve.She turned bright red and promptly re-focussed on picking up trash.Carmilla grinned to herself.That was much better.She cast around for another topic of conversation, having a feeling she’d need to keep short-stuff occupied and wrong-footed in order to distract her from her previous line of questioning for long. _This girl’s sharp_ , Carmilla mused, almost impressed. 

“So, where’d you get the couture?” Carmilla gestured at the offending sweatshirt.“I didn’t realize the Green Team made jerseys.”

Predictably, Laura bristled.“It’s not a _jersey,_ it’s a sweatshirt.And it’s from my intramural rugby team, if you _must know_.It’s cold today!”She added defensively.  


“You don’t say,” Carmilla drawled.Having the upper hand made everything better.  


* * *

Four sessions in, and I really wasn’t sure what to make of Carmilla.  She was definitely an asshole, that was for sure.  But she was rude and aggravating in a completely different way than anyone I’d dealt with in the community service program before.  Other people showed a general reluctance to the whole thing and took it out on LaF and I, but this girl was different.  She mostly seemed to be rude for her own amusement, evidenced by the truce she’d proposed on Friday.  And even though she was an asshole, I couldn’t exactly complain.  There was a certain lack of . . meanspiritedness, I guess.  And at the very least it made for a more amusing four hours.  I missed LaF.

She was _aggravating_ though, holy Hufflepuff!On Monday, in what I’m pretty sure was a deflection tactic after I asked her about her community service again, she somehow got me to reveal that I speak embarrassingly poor French, and then proceeded to refuse to say anything to me in English for the rest of the day, mocking me with her infuriatingly perfect pronunciation. 

On my way to Wednesday’s site, I couldn’t help but wonder what today would have in store.Carmilla arrived only a few minutes after me, looking irritatingly cool as always in black jeans and a green army-style jacket.I decided to try a different tactic today.“Good morning!How are you?”

“Fine.”

“What’s the date today, again?”

“The 19th.”

“What did you have for breakfast?”

“Skipped it.Wh-“

I could tell she was getting suspicious, but I barrelled on nonetheless. 

“What did you do to get arrested?”

Carmilla laughed.“Nice try, Hollis.”She rolled her eyes, and got back to picking up trash.Darn. 

* * *

So, things were going fine.  The community service project wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been, and things were  . . okay with Danny.  That is, until Friday morning.  I was at the office, chatting idly with LaF as I got ready to go out and meet Carmilla at a park in NDG, when Danny breezed in from her office. 

“I just had an email from Josée.She thinks that for the next cycle, we should cut down to only one community service program, instead of two, seeing as we only have five people registered right now.”

I saw what LaF was about to say a second before they said it, but they didn’t catch my frantic, wide-eyed mouthing of “NO”.  


“Four.” They corrected. 

“What?”  Danny looked between us, confused.  

I continued my frantic signalling behind LaF’s back, hoping I could get them to backpedal, but to no avail.  
“There are actually only four people registered.One dropped out of Laura’s sessions.”

“What?” Danny whipped her head back around, focussing on me now.“But that would mean there’s only one person in your session,” She said this very slowly as if she hoped she was wrong. I nodded, unable to think what else to do.“What?!No way.That is so not safe, we need to-“

“Danny.”I cut her off.“It’s fine.Carmilla’s an asshole, but she’s not _dangerous._ ”

“Carmilla?”

“The girl in Laura’s session,” LaF piped up helpfully.“You met her.” I cringed.I was pretty sure that wouldn’t inspire confidence in Danny. 

“The girl with a chip on her shoulder the size of a boulder and enough black denim and leather to clothe an emo band?!”

I stood up, facing off with Danny now.Her judging Carmilla so harshly based on a 30-second encounter bothered me more than it probably should have.I filed that away for later examination though, because there were more pressing issues to deal with.“Danny,” I tried my best to keep my tone even, patient and placating, but even I could tell I wasn’t doing the best job of it, irritation colouring my voice.“It’s really fine.Like I said, she’s a bit of a piece of work, but she’s harmless.”

“You don’t know that Laura!She might. . .”

Danny, please.” I couldn’t help but cut her off.“I’ve told you I don’t feel unsafe, you have to trust that.”

“Like hell I do!I’m your girlfriend, Laura.It’s my job to keep you safe.”  
There was something in the matter-of-fact way she said it, the way she was so sure she knew better than I did that made something inside me snap.I couldn’t have stopped the words from tumbling out of my mouth if I’d tried.“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want a girlfriend who doesn’t trust that I can take care of myself!”

That shut her up.The resulting silence echoed around the room for what felt like an eternity.LaF was frozen behind the desk, their mouth hanging open.Danny’s voice was very small when she finally broke the silence.“What did you say?”

“I said I don’t want a girlfriend who thinks I can’t take care of myself.”I realized how true the words were as I said them. _Shit_.  


Danny found her voice sooner this time, but anger was starting to edge into it now.“Laura, are you breaking up with me?”

“I think I am.I’m really sorry Danny, I didn’t mean to do it like this.” And with that, like the mature grown-up I am, I turned and fled. 

My residual anger carried me down the stairs and out the front door of our building, but once I hit the sidewalk, the reality of what I’d just done hit me with all the shock and force of a sudden downpour.  
I’d just dumped Danny.At _work_.Shit shit _shit._

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out instinctively.  
**LaFontaine:** **_What the Hell, Hollis  
_** **LaFontaine: _If you didn’t actually mean that, I figure you’ve got about a fifteen-minute window to come back and make good._**  
**LaFontaine: _If not, I reiterate: what the hell, Hollis._**

Shit.Not only had a just broken up with my girlfriend, I might also have managed to alienate one of my best friends.Just as I was trying to figure out how to formulate a reply to LaF, my phone lit up and started buzzing once again. **Incoming Call: Lola Perry.** I took a deep breath and answered.  


“Laura, please tell me that LaFonatine is playing a poorly-thought-out practical joke and that you did not just break up with Danny at work with no warning and then storm out of the office.”  
“I didn’t storm, I more fled. . .” 

“Laura!What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t exactly plan it, Perry." I snapped, before I realized that I was getting mad at the wrong person.  "I’ve made a giant mess.I’m so sorry.”

“Did you mean it?” Perry’s question caught me off-gaurd; I’d been expecting more admonishment.  


“What?”

“Did you mean it, or do you think you’ll change your mind?”

This time, it was my voice’s turn to sound small.“Yeah, I think I did.”

“Well,” and then“Oh, Laura, I’m sorry, LaFontaine is calling me-“

“It’s okay, take it - Danny probably needs y-“I didn’t have a chance to finish my sentence before the line went dead, and I was, once again, alone with my thundering thoughts. 

* * *

 

Carmilla was surprised on Friday morning when she arrived at the appointed meeting spot before Laura.Ten minutes later, she was starting to get annoyed, when she saw the small brunette walking toward her.  


“Nice of you to show up, Hollis,” She smirked, once Laura was within earshot. 

Laura didn’t shoot back as Carmilla’d expected, instead muttering ‘sorry’ as she pulled the bag off her back and started emptying it, wordlessly handing over equipment.Well, that was no fun.Carmilla tried again, once they were both kitted up and about to start working.“What, no brilliant new tactics to get me to tell you how I got saddled with this?”

“What’s the point, you’re just going to make some stupid smartass comment anyway,” Laura shot back, much more venom in her voice than Carmilla had expected. 

“Geez, what’s got your panties in a knot this morning?”

“Nothing!” Laura all but shouted.“I just want to shut the hell up and get to work, okay?”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Carmilla muttered. 

* * *

For the following three hours, Carmilla didn’t try any more conversation, but kept a closer than usual eye on Laura.When she took out her phone and stared at it, clearly upset, for the third time the morning, Carmilla almost said something.When it happened a fourth time and Carmilla could’ve sworn she saw tears glinting in Laura’s eyes, she broke her silence.

  
Even as the words came out of her mouth, she wasn’t entirely sure why she wasn’t leaving well enough alone, but the sight of the moisture threatening to spill over Laura’s lashes had caused a surge of . . something in her. “You know, “ she started lightly, conversationally.“Sometimes, when something’s bothering you, it helps to talk about it with another person.”When Laura didn’t respond, she barrelled ahead, “And I’m a human with functioning ears.Just saying.”

Laura didn’t respond for several long minutes, and Carmilla was almost positive she was just going to ignore her when finally she spoke.“Why do you even care?”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it?Carmilla was not sure of the answer herself, so she deflected.“You’re less fun when you’re upset.Purely selfish motives, I assure you.”

Laura barked out a laugh at that.She was silent for almost ten minutes, and Carmilla was sure she’d decided to ignore that too, when suddenly Laura spoke.“I broke up with my girlfriend this morning.” she announced matter-of-factly.  


Carmilla’s brain immediately latched onto the word ‘girlfriend’, bouncing it traitorously and relentlessly around the inside of her skull. _Shit._

* * *

By the time I got to the park to meet Carmilla, fifteen minutes late, I was in a _state._ I couldn’t believe how I’d treated Danny. I still wasn’t sure I hadn’t made an enormous mistake.  And I was feeling terribly alone as all my friends rallied around my newly-minted ex.  I knew it was fair, and I suppose part of me knew it wouldn’t last forever, but it still didn’t feel good. 

Carmilla made a few snarky comments when I first arrived, but when I lost it and snapped at her she seemed to get the message, and we worked in silence the rest of the morning.At one point my phone buzzed; LaF telling me Danny was taking the rest of the day off.Several times I pulled my phone out, even though I knew there wouldn’t be anything new. I had so many thoughts racing around my head, and I so badly wanted to talk to someone, but there wasn’t anyone not connected to Danny.I had other friends of course, but not the kind of friends you texted desperately after a breakup.For half a second I almost texted Betty, my roommate from first year whom I still met for coffee occasionally, before I realized how pathetic that felt. 

When Carmilla offered to talk, even if it was in a flippant, semi-sarcastic way, I was so taken aback that I didn’t answer right away.Why did she even care?I hadn’t realized I’d spoken the thought aloud until she responded.   Something about her response didn’t quite ring true, though.Still, I hadn’t meant to say anything to her.I barely knew her, for God’s sake.  I must have been desperate though, because almost without my consent I heard myself blurt out: “I broke up with my girlfriend this morning.”

I didn’t look at her until after I’d finished talking.She looked stunned, and a thought occurred to me.“Shit.Please tell me you’re not a raging homophobe.”

That startled a laugh out of her.“More like a raging homo,” she grinned.“Don’t worry, you’re safe.” She grinned, then tacked on: “From bigotry, that is,” and then, I KID YOU NOT, she _leered_ at me.Unmistakably.  


“Did you seriously just try to hit on me three seconds after I told you I broke up with someone?!”

She at least had the decency to look chagrined.“Sorry, it’s kind of a reflex.That was out of line.”

“Yeah, it was.” 

“I wouldn’t judge you if you skipped out on the rest of the day, you know,” She offered after a beat of silence.  
I winced. _You might not, but other people certainly would._ “I don’t think that would be a great plan,” 

“Oh, come on.I doubt anyone would fault your for taking the day off after you’ve been dumped.”

“Hey!Why did you assume I was dumped?”

“Because usually people plan breaking up with somebody,” She reasoned.

“Well, I guess I’m a trailblazer, then,” I muttered.

  
We were silent for a few more minutes, until I found myself talking again.I wasn’t really sure why I was telling Carmilla all this.It wasn’t like she was my friend or anything.But, something in the way she’d looked at me earlier made me feel like she actually cared.And it wasn’t like I really had anyone else to talk to.“Some unsolicited advice:Do not accidentally break up with your girlfriend a propos of nothing at the office at 8:15 in the morning.It makes you indisputably the bad guy.”

“Well, that’s the beautiful thing about friends.They have to take your side, even if you’re an asshole.”

I laughed, “Yeah, that doesn’t work so well when your friends are also all her friends.”

“Ouch,”

“It’s fine,” I shrugged.“It’s my own fault.And there’s always Netflix and ice cream.”  


* * *

Carmilla blinked and shook her head, trying to clear it.  She’d just read the same sentence three times, and absorbed none of it.  She was so frustrated.  She’d been obsessing over this translation for the better part of a week, turning sentences over and over in her head as she cooked dinner; as she showered; as she walked to the dep to buy milk, trying to find the perfect combination of words to capture the sense and atmosphere of the original text.  And now, because of a damned girl she _barely knew,_ she couldn’t focus. 

Carmilla cared about precisely two living beings other than herself (and she’d vehemently deny the depth of her feelings for either of them), and she was _happy_ that way, goddammit.Mattie provided company and support, even though Carmilla was loathe to admit she needed either of those things.Virtute, the sleek black tomcat currently curled up on the corner of her desk kept her apartment from feeling too silent and empty, and work-related events and transient gym buddies provided more than enough other socialization.If she needed anything more than all that, she could easily slip into her hottest pair of leather pants and a top that showed a lot of skin and head to her favourite queer club to secure a very temporary bedfellow.She had everything she needed.  


And yet, a certain tiny, overzealous brunette - specifically the raw look on said brunette’s face this afternoon - stubbornly refused to leave her mind.At two thirty, an idea popped into her head, and was promptly dismissed.At two fifty, she did some idle googling.Just past three she sighed and abandoned the translation for the day, resigned.

  
A new niggling voice popped into her head. _This is a bad idea._ She ignored that, too.

* * *

When I arrived back at the office, LaF was the only one still there.  They had music playing, so didn’t hear me come in.  I took a deep breath to steel myself.  “Hey LaF,” I started tentatively. 

They looked up.“Hey Laura.”

I took another deep breath.“LaF, I’m really sorry, I know I messed up-“

They held up a hand to cut off my rambling.“Laura, relax.Honestly, it’s almost a relief you got it over with”

I stared at them, dumbfounded, until they continued.“I think you and Danny were the only ones who didn’t see it coming, Frosh.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.“Frosh” had been LaF’s affectionate nickname for me ever since we met.If they were calling me ‘Frosh’, I was pretty sure they didn’t hate me. 

“But I’ve screwed everything up,” I finally said, my voice small. 

LaF looked at me.“Nah.It’ll all blow over eventually.It’ll probably suck for a while first though,” they said, matter-of-factly. 

I nodded glumly, then looked at them again.“Are you . . .?”I trailed off, but LaF answered my unspoken question regardless.  
“Yeah,” they gave me a sympathetic look.“Perry’s made it abundantly clear that my presence is required tonight at the Danny Pity Party.”They made a face.LaF had never liked Danny as much as the rest of us did.“Sorry Frosh.”

I shrugged, trying to look unaffected.“It’s fine.I’ll be fine.”

We worked in companionable silence the rest of the afternoon.At least LaF didn’t hate me. That was definitely something.We closed up in tandem, easily falling into our routine.In the lobby, LaF gave me another sympathetic smile before we parted ways, them going to the rear door to get their bike which they left locked behind the building, me exiting out the front to catch the 80 on Parc. 

I shook my head, annoyed, when my eyes fell on the motorcycle parked in front of our building.It was a _clearly marked_ no parking zone.That was where my bus stopped, dammit!The bike’s owner had clearly just dismounted, and I’d opened my mouth, ready to start telling them off, when they pulled off their helmet and turned around to reveal . . .

“Carmilla?What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Well, hello to you too,” She smirked, mock-offended.

  
“What are you doing here?” I repeated my question, this time _sans_ profanity.

  
She answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.“I’m taking you to get a drink, cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon! (I will do my very best, at least).  
> Also, in case you're confused by the Francophone-Canada-ism: 'Dep' means corner store, basically. (It's short for 'Depanneur', which is what we call them here.)  
> Thanks for reading! Comments make me a happy camper :)
> 
> Also, bonus points if you know where Carmilla's cat's name comes from.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I think attempting to stick to any sort of a regular posting schedule was a pipe dream, with everything else I've got going on right now. But I'm still really enjoying writing this, and I'll post when I can.  
> Thanks for comments and kudos - I'm sorry I left you hanging last time! Hopefully this will make up for it. Enjoy! :)

A very eloquent “What?!” was all I could manage in response.  
She leaned against her bike, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.“I’m taking you to get a drink.Drowning your sorrows and all that.”  
  
Okay, that made sense.I was left with a fairly large question, though.“Why?’  
  
“The thought of you marathoning _Grey’s Anatomy_ with only a pint of Ben & Jerry’s was a little too pathetic to stand,”  
  
“Thanks,” I muttered, crossing my arms, but I could tell she hadn’t actually meant it as an insult, and I wasn’t truly offended.“And it would be Doctor Who, not Grey’s Anatomy.”  
  
She laughed.“Regardless, doesn’t my plan seem more appealing?”

I considered that for a moment.My instinct, on principal, was to say no.There was something about the whole thing that felt like it had ‘BAD IDEA’ written all over it.But if I were being honest, it was more appealing than going home to my lonely apartment and being vividly reminded of my mistakes.I shrugged.“Well, since you came all this way. . .”  
  
She grinned, and turned, retrieving a second helmet.“Then buckle up, cupcake.Else’s sound good?”  
  
I was about to nod my assent when I realized something.With my current mental state and embarrassing inability to hold alcohol, I was probably three drinks away from being a weepy mess.I might be willing to expose my shambles of a love life to Carmilla, but I was so not ready for her to meet Sloppy Drunk Laura.“Actually-”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I don’t know if a drink is a great idea.It’ll probably just made me more sad.”I started to give back the helmet.  
  
She considered that for a moment, not taking the helmet from me.“Okay.Want to rot your teeth or clog your arteries?”  
  
Again, from me, a very eloquent “What?”  
  
“If you don’t want to drink your feelings you can always eat them.Cacao soixante-dix,” she gestured down Parc, “or La Banquise?” She waved her hand in a vaguely north-eastern direction.

  
Well, that was at least an easy question to answer. “Chocolate.”

Once again, she grinned.Smiles looked good on Carmilla, I decided.“Then hop on, Hollis,” she called over her shoulder, already swinging a leg over the bike.Gingerly and somewhat awkwardly I clambered on behind her.She started the bike but didn’t take it out of park. “You might want to hold on, cupcake.Road rash isn’t a great cure for emotional turmoil.Not that I’ve tried it,” she amended.  Right. _Crap._ Gingerly, trying to avoid touching her as much as possible (which was, of course, futile) I put my arms around her waist, and like that we were off.  


I tried to use the trip down Parc to process this absurd day.The facts: 1. This morning, I had unceremoniously and completely spontaneously dumped Danny.Although I regretted the _way_ I had done it, I was beginning to come to the realization that I wasn’t regretting that I _had_ done it.  2. I’d been in a bad mood, and somehow ended up telling Carmilla what had happened.Chalk that up to guilt and confusion and being unable to talk to my friends because they were rallying around Danny?Then, I’d had a chat with LaF and done some boring 3. Somehow Carmilla had figured out when I got out of work, shown up on her _motorcycle,_ and offered to take me out for dessert.The question “WHY?” still seemed unanswered.Carmilla didn’t exactly seem the Good Samaritan type.Appearances _were_ sometimes deceiving, but still. 

Carmilla’s voice broke through my thoughts.“Laura?”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“You can let go of me now,” she chuckled.I realized with a start that we had indeed stopped moving and the bike was parked.I quickly pulled my arms back, my traitorous face turning bright red as I scrambled off the bike, almost knocking both it and myself over in the process.I finally stood on the sidewalk, my face approximately the same colour as the taillights of the cars streaming past us on the busy street.Carmilla didn’t bother to hide her grin as she stowed our helmets and secured her bike. 

Mercifully, we went inside and I was able to distract myself with Cacao 70’s menu, which is, let me just say, a work of art.  My feelings about chocolate must have been written on my face, because a few minutes after we got our menus, Carmilla snarked “should I give you two a moment alone, cupcake?”  
  
“Ha. Ha.”

* * *

 

As Laura contemplated her menu, Carmilla was left with time to think, which was unacceptable.She still didn’t quite understand how she’d ended up here, and hell if she was going to contemplate it now.She flipped through her menu, even though she knew what she wanted, just for something to do, but that could only hold her attention for so long.She glanced up - Laura’s eyes were still locked on her menu, a torn expression on her face.Well, there was a sure way to distract herself.“It’s not rocket science, cupcake,” she drawled, immediately gratified by the blush that spread across Laura’s cheeks. 

“Hey! I take chocolate very seriously.” 

“I can see that.Do me a favour though, and pick something before I die of old age?”

Laura glared at her.“You know, you have a strange cheering-up strategy.”

“Yeah, well, I never claimed to be nice, did I?”

“That you did not,” Laura allowed with a grin.“Which reminds me-“

Carmilla cut her off by reaching over and tapping Laura’s menu.“Decide, cupcake.This century, preferably.” Laura glared at her once again, but returned her eyes to her menu nonetheless.Carmilla wasn’t left alone with her thoughts long, though, as soon after Laura’s head popped back up.“Do I want a crêpe, or do I want really fancy hot chocolate?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Cause the hot chocolate here is amazing.And, I mean, marshmallows. But also, crêpes.”

“Can you please just get them both and put me out of my misery?”

Laura stuck her tongue out.“That’s over twenty bucks, close to thirty once I tip, on chocolate.That seems excessive.”

“Get, them both, I’m paying.” Carmilla stated, reaching over with one hand to close Laura’s menu, and lifting the other to flag down their server. 

“No- you don’t have to-“ Laura started, but was cut off by the waiter’s arrival.Carmilla had given him both their orders before she had managed to form a coherent sentence.“Carmilla you shouldn-“

Carmilla cut her off.“You break up with somebody, you get free dessert.I don’t make the rules, Hollis, I just follow them.”

“Since when are you a rule follower?”

"When it suits me."

Laura seemed at a loss for words, which once again left Carmilla with far too much time to think about things she really didn’t want to consider right now, such as why the hell she’d just done that.She cast about for something to say, but Laura beat her to it.  
“So, what do you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“What do you do?I know basically nothing about you, other than that your favourite colour is black, you ride a motorcycle, and you dislike being pleasant,” Laura grinned.“It’s strange.”

A few quips ran through Carmilla’s head, but instead, for some reason, the simple straight answer is what came out of her mouth.“I’m a translator.”

“A translator?Like you follow foreign diplomats around and explain what they’re saying?”

Carmilla laughed.“That’s an interpreter, cupcake.I do written work.”

“Like what?”

“Mostly it’s business and government documents, but I also articles.”She paused, and then, for some reason, went on.“I’m working on a proposal to do a novel right now.”

“A proposal?”

“A sample,” Carmilla clarified.“I’m translating a chapter right now.They’ll read that, then decide if they want to give me the job.”

“Wow.That sounds like a lot of work.I guess it pays better, though?”

Carmilla laughed.“Not really, actually.But it’s more interesting.Product briefs and public health notices get really boring.And they’re easy.With fiction, you don’t just have to convey what was said, you have to capture _how_ the author said it.The feeling they were trying to capture.Translating fiction well is almost an art form itself.”

Laura had been listening as Carmilla spoke, but slowly a grin began to spread over her face. 

“What?” Carmilla snapped when Laura just kept grinning.

Infuriatingly, Laura’s grin just got wider.“I’m onto you.”Carmilla was about to object, but Laura cut her off.“You play the part well, with your leather and your motorcycle and your black denim and your ‘I don’t give a fuck about anyone’ attitude, but secretly?” Laura grinned.“You’re a romantic.You’re kind, even though you try to hide it.And you’re an artist.You said it yourself.”

“You take that back Hollis, or I’ll rip your throat out.”

Laura just laughed.“Nope.Not fooling me anymore.” she grinned. 

Carmilla was about to fire back when their food arrived.For a moment they were both distracted by the bounty in front of them.After a few bites though, Laura looked up again.“What’s it called?”

“What’s what called?”

“The book you’re translating?”

“Hoping to translate,” Carmilla corrected.“I haven’t translated the title, I will if I get the job.It’s hard to capture the sense of it in English.I haven’t found the right words yet.”

“Tell me it untranslated,” Laura suggested.

“You wouldn’t understand it.”

“Hey!My French isn’t _that_ bad.”

“Your accent _is_ that bad,” Carmilla shot back.“But you’re right, your comprehension’s fine.The book’s not in French, though.”

Laura’s mouth dropped open a little.“You’re telling me you’re fluent in three languages?”

“More like four.Almost five - my Russian still needs a little work.”

“You say that like speaking five languages isn’t massively impressive - wait,” Laura had caught something in Carmilla’s expression. “you speak more than five languages?”

“Define ‘speak’”

“Okay.Which languages can you translate?”

“English, French, Greek, German.”

“Which languages could you read a novel in?”

“A novel written for adults?” Carmilla clarified. Laura nodded.

“Those four, plus Russian and Italian.Also old and middle English, if you count those,” she ammended. 

Laura looked a little flabbergasted, but plowed ahead nonetheless.

“Which languages could you . . .” she searched for another benchmark.

“Put on a job application for customer service?” Carmilla suggested. 

“Sure.”

“Those six, plus Spanish and Dutch.”

“Did we cover them all?”

“Mostly.A few more I know enough to get around a country without a phrasebook.”

“Those are?”

“Mandarin.Hindi.Welsh.”She thought for a second.“Oh, and Gaelic.”

“How the hell,” Laura began, “Do you speak -“ she paused to count on her fingers “twelve languages?”

“The last five barely count as speaking them.I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Still.Eight languages?!”

“Well, I grew up with the first four,” Laura looked confused, so she elaborated. “My father spoke German to me, and my mother spoke Greek, so did my grandmother.School was French.My paternal grandmother was Russian, and I spent a lot of time with her as a kid.” 

“How did you learn English in all of that?”

Carmilla laughed.“My dad barely spoke French, and he only knew a little Greek.My mother didn’t know German or Russian, so they spoke English to each other and when we were all together.”

“And the other languages?”

“Italian’s not hard to pick up if you speak another Romance language already,” Carmilla reasoned.“I took Middle and Old English lit in university. You barely need to try to learn Spanish if you speak Italian and French.And similar for Dutch when you speak German.The other ones I’ve started to pick up because they’re useful, okay,” she allowed, “Welsh and Gaelic aren’t that useful.They’re fun, though.”

Laura smiled, an infuriating little grin.“What?”

“Nothing.”Laura grinned again and took another bite of her crêpe.Carmilla scowled, unsettled by the whole encounter so far.She coped by stabbing a strawberry, drowning it in chocolate before popping it into her mouth.Laura rolled her eyes, but picked up the thread of conversation again a few minutes later.

“So what else do you do?”When Carmilla didn’t answer, she elaborated. “You know, when you’re not picking up trash or being a human RosettaStone.Hobbies?”

_Rock climb. Learn more languages.Read.Avoid thinking about things I don’t want to think about._ “Wouldn’t you like to know,” was all she said.  


“Yes, that’s usually why people ask questions.” Laura fired back.

Carmilla just smiled.“Can’t go revealing all my secrets at once, Cupcake.”  Laura rolled her eyes.

  
The rest of the evening passed easily, in idle and trivial conversation.Carmilla answered Laura’s questions when she felt like it, and evaded them when she didn’t.Before long, their server was arriving with their cheque, Carmilla waving away Laura’s halfhearted protests as she handed him her debit card. Once they’d exited the building, Carmilla turned to Laura.“Do you need a lift home?”

“No thanks.I just live a few blocks over,” Laura explained, gesturing down Milton. 

Carmilla groaned audibly.“Really? Please don’t tell me you never moved out of the McGill bubble.”

“Hey!” Laura protested.“It’s convenient!”

“And way overpriced, not to mention much less interesting that half a dozen other places you could live, and nowhere near where you work.”

“And tell me, where do you live, Miss cooler-than-thou?”

“Can’t go giving away all my secrets at once,” Carmilla repeated, fastening her helmet and swinging a leg over her bike.“Night, Hollis.”

“Goodnight,” Laura responded, and then, just as Carmilla was about to drive away. “And, Carm?” Carmilla turned to look at her. “Thank you.”

Carmilla wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she just nodded and then started her engine, merging into traffic before either of them could say anything else. 

The Friday evening traffic, especially now that Cyclists were back on the street, was enough to keep Carmilla’s brain occupied for the ride home.Once she’d arrived, however, her mind started wanting to examine everything she’d done over the past few hours, which was unacceptable.Thankfully, she had a solution for that.  
As soon as she’d unlocked her door, she shed her coats, keys, wallet, and helmet, tossing them in an unceremonious pile.She started unbuttoning her blouse as she strode quickly towards her room, where she shed it and the rest of her clothes, replacing them with spandex shorts and a light, loose top.That done, she opened her music app as she made her way out of her room, stepping lightly across the hall to the room opposite.She scrolled through the albums with one hand as she opened the door with the other. _Blonde_ would do nicely.She cued it up and turned on the wireless speaker system, but didn’t hit play, instead moving to the middle of the floor and starting to stretch.It was an old habit, warming up in silence, but she’d never managed to change it.Focussing on her breath and the feeling of her muscles, warming and loosening, centred her like few other things did.Gauging herself adequately limbered, she hit play, letting the tangling melodies and Beatrice Martin’s voice wash over her for a few counts before she started to move.   
  
After she’d gotten out, she’d sworn she was giving up dance for ever.Yet, when she’d been on the market for an apartment, she’d bought the one with an enormous empty room that had a floor of springy hardwood.She’d denied the room’s purpose for the better part of a year, moving in a few overstuffed chairs, a plush rug, some bookcases, and taking advantage of the floor-to-ceiling glass that made up the south wall to grow some plants.But one day, she’d been listening to some Chopin _etudes_ while reading, and suddenly, barely of her own volition, she’d gotten up, hauled the furniture to one side, and let the music take over her body.She almost pulled a muscle that day, but she never moved the furniture back.A few months later she’d given in, banishing the books and everything else entirely, having the sound system installed, and putting in floor-to-ceiling mirrors and a barre on the long wall. Not that she was evaluating her form or doing drills much, but the space hadn’t felt complete without it. 

Now, she was in her little studio at least a few times a week.Sometimes she danced when she needed to think about something, sometimes for the pure joy of movement, and sometimes, like today, as a way of avoiding thinking.She’d intentionally chosen music that wasn’t easy to dance to, music that made it impossible to focus on anything but the movement. 

It took all of _Blonde_ , and half of _Roses_ before Carmilla was tired enough to shut off the music, take a shower, and fall exhausted into bed.

* * *

 

Perry wasn’t home when I got in, which wasn’t that surprising.Despite it not being that late, I showered and got into my comfiest pyjamas, then crawled into bed, bringing my laptop with me.I quickly opened Netflix and found what I was looking for, letting the eleventh doctor’s antics distract me from this awful and confusing mess of a day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand the tragic backstory makes a teeeensy appearance! And our favourite lesbians are confused and oblivious.  
> Thanks for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was just a little teaser, first chapter will be up tomorrow, and then I'm going to do my best to stick to a Sunday/Thursday posting schedule. 
> 
> This fic is set in Mtl for no real reason except for that I adore this city and I've had a lot of fun coming up with Montréal and Canadiana headcanons for all the characters(seriously, I can tell you where in the city all the characters live, and which Canadian cities they grew up in). Also, I love that Carmilla is Canadian, and the fact that Natasha Negovanlis went to McGill makes me happy because it's my Alma mater too, so this is a little bit of a nod to that.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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